An Intro to Pakistani Weddings
My wedding functions are just seventeen days away! I’ve been looking forward to my big wedding in Pakistan for about a year now and it’s just now that the feeling of being a bride is actually kicking in. For the past one year my family and I have been planning my wedding and to be honest, it’s both tiresome and annoying but nonetheless exciting!!!
Pakistani weddings are nothing short from extravagant and because of the social and cultural pressures of having an “amazing” wedding, it’s so easy to get stressed. The three-day festivities are like a lifelong planning of “how to spend the most money I can to please my entire family” and then those three days pass in a jiffy and you’re like “wow, it’s over.” Because most of my wedding planning has been done by my family, I’ve had little to stress about.
However, I can tell you that being overseas while my wedding is being planned in Pakistan has both its pros and cons. I wasn’t able to go to Pakistan a few months before my wedding because I’ve been busy with my studies and, to be honest, I didn’t want to spend the money of flying to Pakistan just to spend more money when I have family there who can take care of most things. Afterall, isn’t that what family is for?
My father has taken care of everything from the catering to the decor to the food. I think the biggest thing I had to worry about were my clothes. So, my mom and I had shortlisted a few bridal lenghas and to my surprise, I realized how much of our tastes differ. I was hoping I’d alter my mother’s wedding dress and just wear that. Not to my surprise, I received a backlash from my family. In their terms that’s old-fashioned and they don’t want people to think I’ve worn something outdated because you know even on my wedding it’s all about ‘log kya kahenge.’ Anywho, my cousins in Lahore were given the task to make my bridal lengha and thankfully, they took on the responsibility and have done a phenomenal job. So, kudos to them!
Back to why I am writing this post. For all the brides-to-be, it’s a daunting experience to manage and plan your own wedding. For this reason, don’t! If you’re Pakistani then it’s a blessing in disguise that everyone is already deciding for you the kind of decor, venue, and food they want. Specifically, your parents are your saviours at this time because they will enthusiastically take charge of many things. There are some things I wish I had stayed firm on and wish I had made clear ( I did try, but gave up quickly) because at the end of the day, it is your wedding. But I guess certain things you just don’t have the energy or time to argue about. Here are some tips and advice I’d like to give to-be brides and perhaps their families.
The Tips and Advice
- If you don’t want a big wedding, make it loud and clear so no one in your family has preconceived expectations. Don’t let it happen if you don’t want it. I know it’s easier said than done but if you stay persistent, your family will eventually give in.
- Make a budget and work within that. It’s so easy to spend mindlessly when you don’t have a budget. For most brides, they are in charge of their outfits and makeup so you may want to set a budget on how much you are willing to spend on your outfits and makeup.
- Support rising MUA’s (makeup artists)! It’s so mind-boggling when I look back and think of the ridiculous prices renown makeup artists in Pakistan were asking for. $1000 USD for makeup? Hell naaahhhh. That’s why I chose makeup artists who are still trying to make a name for themselves in Pakistan cause they are trying to upskill and are cheap and of course have bomb makeup skills.
- Stop forcing people to come to your wedding. Invite who you want. Most probably, you’re gonna see a whole bunch of people at the wedding you don’t even know (courtesy of our parents inviting EVERYONE and their mommas). But honestly, it really works me up when my parents try forcing a family to come to my wedding because I believe whoever wants to come will find a way and not to mention that people do have lives and not everyone can make it. So don’t get worked up on some people not coming to your big day because, in the bigger spectrum of things, it probably doesn’t even matter so yolo.
- If you’re trying to lose weight for your wedding, take baby steps. Doing crash diets right before your wedding is a bigger problem because you’ll get stressed out and you’ll start breaking out and feel shitty. So either be happy with however you look in the present and if you aren’t then I mean you should’ve been smart about it and worked on it in the months leading up to your wedding….
- Don’t shy away from telling people (who ask you what you want) your list of wedding gifts. Wedding registries exist for a reason. People want to get you a gift cause hello you are the bride and have every reason to get spoiled. So, don’t be humble and ask away.
- Save photos of hairstyles and makeup looks you want for your wedding festivities. It’s always good to have saved pictures in handy to show your makeup artist so you’re not met with any surprises.
- Be polite. You don’t have to agree with everyone. I think I’ve realized that my family is just as excited or even more excited than I am for the wedding. But, there have been things I’ve disagreed with in terms of how many people to invite, what color clothes to wear, to do my own makeup or get it done. And honestly, I stopped arguing and just gave in to so many of my parents’ desires because I’m the only daughter and if this is their way of spoiling me then so be it. You’ll have many more opportunities to have things your way and in life, you just have to choose your battles wisely.
- You can’t make everyone happy so just make sure that you are happy. The last thing you want is not enjoying the most memorable day of your life. It’s the people who surround you that will make your days the most enjoyable so just be with family and friends that you cherish. Filter out all the negativity and just keep a distance from people who are likely to ruin your mood because we all know that some people can’t see others happy.
- Share and vent to your spouse. My husband and I have had great laughs in the past one year seeing everyone getting worked up over the silliest things relating to our wedding. But I guess these are the things we’ll miss when it’s all over. Whenever I’ve stressed about clothes or make up my go-to person has always been my hubby and he’s been a good listener so I’m happy, hahah.
I’ll have an updated post next month to tell you all how exactly everything went on my wedding. If you have any tips and advice of your own, feel free to share them in the comments below.
I’ll let ya’ll know where my outfits were from, who did my makeup and all the other good stuff so look out for a ton of pictures very soon!